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Symbolic Misfits and Six Years Sober

Monday, August 30th, 2010
Avia shares thoughts on sobriety

Avia shares thoughts on sobriety

Today marks my sixth year of sobriety. 

It’s rare for me to divulge intensely private details, but something Dr. Jonathan Ellerby said on one of his videos prompted me to share. 

He mentioned that while on his metaphysical path, he wished some of the spiritual guru’s of the day would have spoken out more about the hard-core challenges they’d endured in life and how they moved through these experiences. 

I agree, and although this post may not offer the most clarifying solutions – it may provide something of a catharsis.

Like everybody else in this world, I’m no greenhorn to the dusty challenges kicked up in life’s rodeo, and I’m certainly not the only one to wrangle addiction. 

It would be nice to say alcoholism is the only snafu with which I’ve had to contend.  Nope. I’m an overachiever – especially concerning addictions. There’s a whole laundry list….including chain-smoking, a particularly nasty drug habit and an overindulgent love for food that manifested into a 258 pound weight gain (if you don’t believe me, I’ve got before and after pics here).

So what’s my take on dealing with addictions?  How can we counteract self-destructive behavior?

Regrettably, I don’t really have the greatest answers to those questions.  This year was unbelievably brutal in my 6 year run at sobriety.  I lost my mother-in-law, a dear mentor, and a very good friend in the span of 3 months this year.  It’s been crippling, and the need for escape has been overwhelming at times.

Truthfully, I haven’t picked up a drink because I’m petrified- scared poopless – that once I open that can of worms, there’s no undoing the squirmy consequences.  That same fear drives my abstinence from all the other addictions too (ok, so I might have an occassional cigarette…hey, nobody’s perfect).  I suppose that’s what the coined term “healthy fear” is all about.

But I can share a more practical solution – at least for me:  The realm of symbolism has been a real life-saver.

Where reflecting on my motivations and past history has failed to give adequate reasons for my compulsions – symbolism has answered in spades.

Thankfully, I’ve always been a symbolic-junkie first, and reverting back to that foundation has proven to be a counter-balance to other junkie-fiendy tendencies.

In fact, I think addictions are symbolic.  They represent a sense of feeling incomplete, and a need to escape that sense of vacancy.  Symbolism has helped me view my addictions as symbolic personalities…archetypes, if you will.

So, my compulsions take on character traits….similar to how Colette Baron-Reid likens grabby aspects of our darker selves as “The Goblin.”  Although, this imagery didn’t really work for me – I happen to love goblins.

Rather, my alcoholism is more like a naughty misfit.  Misunderstood, craving attention and just dying to be center-stage.  And that’s okay.  We all need our moments in the sun.

So, I find healthier ways for my misfits to express themselves.  Meditation has been a godsend, and although I started the daily practice in my late teens – it wasn’t until I started addressing my addictions that meditation proved nothing short of miraculous.

Seeing the world through symbolic eyes has been a catalyst for stability too.  It’s clear the unnatural obsession for escapism is at the core of my addictions.  Delving into the magic and wonder of symbolism feeds that need for shifty perspectives quite nicely.

And something else….you’ll notice I haven’t nay-sayed or cast ugly dispersions on my alcoholism/addiction.  That’s because it’s not an enemy.  I cringe at terms like: “battling” addiction, or “fighting” alcoholism.  If there’s anything my needy-needs have taught me – it’s that fighting these urges is futile.

Looking over this post, I realize it might not be all that helpful, and it’s fairly stark of solutions for those of you looking for them in dealing with your own personal challenges.

Nevertheless, I’m publishing the post.  Maybe it can serve as a reminder that there ARE solutions (even if unorthodox).  Maybe this post can serve as encouragement that if I can maneuver my inner misfits – you can too. 

If nothing else, I’m grateful to be able to share this tiny bit of my journey with you.  Sharing our milestones is something that makes us wonderfully human, and I’m deeply thankful to be able to indulge this moment – my six-year anniversary of sobriety with you.  Thanks for reading!

Other dark confessions:

Symbolic Mountain of Sobriety

Symbolic Stories About the Self

Why Symbolism?

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You Are Not Alone

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

HandPrintOfAwareness

You are not alone.”

Some of us know this instinctively.  We feel the presence of supporters – as close to us as our skins, as intimate as the inhalation of air. 

Whether we call them gods, goddesses, angels, higher selves, animal guides…by whatever name – we are aware of intangible energy buoying us with assurance and support.

However, others of us feel a ring of isolation, preventing us from feeling that consistent presence of energetic support.  Some of us incorporate techniques, rituals or healing habits in order to gain etheric unity for the purpose of becoming saturated by the varied presences of the divine. 

I was philosophizing on this with a friend of mine.  We discussed varying reasons why some people - even if they’re locked in a box on some remote island – will tell you they are never alone.  Why can some people feel the presence of supportive energy no matter how removed they may be from everything?  Conversly,  why do other people feel completely remote, and unable to grasp the presence of divine help, healing and guidance within their midst?

Those who find themselves feeling hermetically sealed in a vacuum of solitary confinement may wonder what the trick is to ripping off the lid and encountering divine accompaniment.  How to feel the buoying presence of profound support on a daily (or even moment-to-moment) basis?

Pulling ourselves from the attic of our minds helps.  Walk “downstairs” into the body

That means making connections with movement, breathing, heartbeat.  It means listening to our own blood as if it were an exotic music.  And if it is music, then we must acknowledge a composer, a conductor and a collaborative orchestra rendering that specialized music from within. 

Each cell within the body represents an individual life.  We forget the billions of individual consciousness’s residing within ourselves because they function so elegantly as a whole. 

To be sure, the body is a multiverse and tapping into that diversity of consciousness is a vital step to feeling less of a stranger in a strange land.  

One of the most (deceptively) simple ways I’ve found to dissuade the mind of its separation is to draw attention to the wilderness within the body. 

Try it some time.  If you’re feeling that ring of isolation squeezing the joy from you, and you’re seeking divine connection and communion – try a dreamtime ride within the subway system of your arteries.  Listen to your aortic tympani.  Start a discussion with your intestinal bacteria (don’t laugh! They can be stimulating conversationalists!).

My point is this:  Indeed, we are inseparable from all manner of divine energy whose presence and purpose is to accompany each of us on our life-journey.  Being alone is an impossibility

Nevertheless, some of us feel the austerity of seclusion more often than divine companionship.  So, if that’s the case with you, I’m suggesting a move out of the mind and into the body.  It’s an effective first step to becoming intimate with the reality of inclusion and consistent support.

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Investing in Your Future

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Where do you put your money?   The answer is symbolic.

I’ve been an avid supporter of the David Lynch Foundation because I believe it’s the most ideal way to invest in the future.

I’m not the only one.  Join Russel Brand in his personal fundraising crusade for alignment.

Or, donate directly to the DLF here.

Doing so is an investment in the well-being of your own future, and the future of your generations to come.  

Money is a symbolic energy.  DLF is a prime example of releasing the recyclable power of money via profoundly positive channels.

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The Pinecone, The Pineal Gland and An Illuminating Meditation

Friday, December 18th, 2009



The Pinecone: A Symbol Of Illumination

The Pinecone: A Symbol Of Illumination

I love how the most unassuming bits from Nature represent very big meanings when we take the time to dig into their symbolic potential.

What’s so special about the pinecone that it could possibly be a sign of illumination?

…Ever heard of the pineal gland?  It gets its name because it looks very much like the pinecone.   But their visual likenesses aren’t what intrigue me.

The pineal gland is a remarkable feature of the human experience.  Nestled in the brain between the two hemispheres, it is a source of endless intrigue in the realm of mysticism.  Indeed, it’s known by pseudonyms such as the “third eye” the “dream center” and the “mystic seed.” 

From a purely biological perspective, the pineal gland is integral to the production of melatonin, which is a hormone that facilitates homeostasis of wake-sleep patterns.  In short, it regulates the natural rhythms of sleep according to our environment.

The pineal gland registers our exposure to daylight, and, regulates production of its sleep inducing elixirs according to its findings.  Less light means more melatonin.  More light means less melatonin.  It’s an ancient human thing – less light meant winter was encroaching and although humans didn’t hibernate – more sleep was an ideal way of conserving energy during lean winter months. 

Mystics have also suspected the pineal gland is a receptor of Spiritual Light too – with the ability to open up to mystical awareness upon the presence of an ascended master and during periods of enlightened consciousness.

So what’s this got to do with the pinecone?

I find it fascinating that not only do the pinecone and pineal gland share similarities in appearance, but they are also both keenly affected by Light

The pinecone, like the pineal gland, is extremely affected by Light, and takes action according to what it senses.  Cones will open themselves up to the sun’s rays, and close up during cloudy or stormy days.  It has to do with continuation of the seed-line.  Sunny days offer more arid conditions and the tiny seedlings nestled in the scales of the pinecone can become airborne more easily.  Damp or rainy days are crumby conditions for seed spreading, so the pinecone just closes up shop during these weather conditions.

That action is symbolic in itself (like: Opening up spiritual awareness in order to sow seeds of limitless potential and continuation of Soul Growth) …. but to keep with our comparison, we can now draw corollaries between pineal gland and pinecone in terms of gauging Light, seeking Light, and becoming activated in the Light.

We could say, pinecones are the external reflection of the “mystic seed” (the pineal gland).  From this perspective, all these pinecones we see this time of year bring on a whole new meaning. 

What if every time we saw a pinecone during this holiday season we

*stop*

*engage our inner domains*

*and purposefully widen  our inner Vision*

That’s what I do when I see pinecones.  I consciously “stop, drop, and roll” into my inner realms with intent to broaden my mystical view.  I tell you, it is revolutionary and worth a try if you’re game for a mind-blowing experience. 

You can also try meditating with the pinecone as a more organized approach to stimulating the pineal “dream center.”  Here are some meditative tips:

  • Find a pinecone and place it before you in preparation for your meditation
  • Light a candle while setting your focus upon expanding your consciousness
  • Cast your physical and spiritual eyes upon the pinecone and observe it in the candlelight
  • Envision the pinecone opening itself to the Light and warmth of the candlelight
  • As you continue this solemn, calm perception, begin to see that pinecone within your mind
  • Nestled warmly, snuggly between the two halves of your brain, get a clear visual of that pinecone within your mind’s eye
  • Now visualize your inner pinecone opening gently to take in nourishment from Divine light
  • See your pineal gland (pinecone) radiating and stimulated from the calming light of the cosmos
  • Continue to enhance this meditative experience according to your own impulses and requirements. 
  • When you’re ready, conclude your meditation by centering yourself back into  your common reality – resurface & reaffirm your bodily presence.

The idea is to tap into the pinecone and transfer its visual/symbolic qualities to the pituitary gland with a goal to expand, illuminate and ascend.

I’ve had phenomenal results with this meditation.  Namely, this exercise has catapulted me to insanely blissful and utterly unreal realms where I was transformed in truly ballistic ways. 

Just work with the pinecone as an extension of your pineal “third eye” and see what happens.  Let me know what kind of experiences you have!

Other topics that might hone your cones (ha ha):

Christmas Symbols and Meanings

Fir Tree Symbolism

Nature Symbolism

Cups Four in Tarot  (thoughts on how it relates to the pineal gland)

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Symbols for Divine, Divinity Symbols

Saturday, January 26th, 2008

An interesting request from one of my readers…she wanted a symbol for divine, or divinity symbols to which I respond: 

Dear Symbol Seeker,

The Divine is a broad subject, but below are a few symbols that represent Divine, or Divinity.

In Alchemy – the human body is considered a symbol of the divine

In Native American symbology (specifically plains tribes) a large, equilateral triangle pointing downard represents trust in divine guidance. It is a symbol of our ability to join with the divine and have a divine perspective.  Further in this genre, an equilateral triangle pointing heavenwards represents the divine point, the highest point of knowledge (cosmic awareness or higher spirit if you will).

In most cultures, a crown is a symbol of not only royalty and nobility – but also divinity.  For example deities and Pharaohs of Ancient Egypt wore double crowns to signify their divine stature as well as mark their endowment of divine power.  In some religions, including Christianity, the crown represents divine glory and crowns were placed on the heads of newly deceased as a sign of their union with God upon their passing.  In Eastern religions the crown worn is a sign of spiritual evolution – one step closer to divinity.

In the animal kingdom we find more symbols of the divine…

In Christian traditions, the dove is a symbol of divinity as it is the representation of the Christ.

Further, the starfish is considered a representation of the Virgin Mary in Christian iconography and as such is a symbol of the keeper of divine wisdom.

The dolphin is considered a divine messenger of the sea by some Native American cultures.

In the Orient as well as Celt, Norse and Greco-Roman mythologies the horse is thought of as a divine messenger too – a carrier of high divine insight for the Gods & Goddesses it serves.

In various cultural & mythological realms (Christian, Greco-Roman, Native American, Byzantine) the Eagle is considered a divine creature of the air and held firm as a symbol of the divine.

In other areas of nature such as the plant world, we find more symbols of divinity.

The peach has long been symbolic of divinity as well as longevity, good fortune and paradise to the Chinese and Japanese.

The pine cone is a symbol of immortality and the divine in earth-based religions (i.e. paganism) as it is an evergreen.

Another earth-based symbol of the divine long honored by the ancient Celts and Norse is the acornDruids swallowed the acorns whole in order to touch the divine mind.   They were sacred to the god Thor, and in Norse mythology the Tree of Life was an oak (from which the acorn springs forth).

The number ten is symbolic of spiritual achievement and return to unity.  Consequently, many systems of thought treat this numeral as a symbol of the divine. Specifically, the sephirotic Tree of Life of the Kabbalah is made of ten sephira – as such it represents unity, spiritual attainment, and divine accomplishment.

The Tarot holds infinite symbols for divinity.  The Hierophant is a symbol of uniformed or contained divinity where the human may pour out the prescribed nature of divine to the public.  Also in the Tarot, the Moon is a symbol for the divine.

As you can see, symbols of the divine are numerous.  Even in our day-to-day lives we can find symbols that vibrate with the divine.  Even candles -long thought of as carriers of divine light in places of worship and occasion of ritual.

In considering symbols for the divine, I would encourage you to find elements in your life that focus upon your own unique perspective of what is divine for you.  Meditate upon divinity itself, and your own special symbols will come to you from your effort.

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